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Think before you accuse and comment.

So many people are quick to accuse another, they immediately go on the offensive and make comments and post lies about you or an organisation.

We can all get angry, we all want to vent on Social Media, but is it worth it?

In this world of instant communication, Social media has allowed us to react immediately, it has allowed us to argue online, rather than face to face.

But why do we do it? We do not know the situation that the other person is in, what they are doing and how much they are trying to help or why they are posting on Social media.

There has been a lot of media coverage regarding online trolls, accusations, hate mail and malicious lies spread across the media, both electronic and paper format. People have taken their lives because of Social Media posts, good people who were trying to achieve a goal, celebrities who were suffering mental health problems who have received too much abuse, children who are bullied online.

But why do we do it?

I think we have all been too quick to reply on a keyboard, then the next day, looked at the comments and thought, 'Did I write that'?

Alcohol can also play a part. Have you noticed that the most nastiest of comments are usually made in the evening. The rants that go on and on are usually alcohol fuelled.

We all get hurt by allegations, comments, especially when our questions are not answered, or answered in a way which we do not like. When others join the conversations and add fuel to the fire, when people make comments, but then do not apologise.

Nasty comments, swearing and offensive behaviour are all part of this.

Adding comments and then deleting them is one of the most frustrating things about Social Media, when you have been in a conversation with someone and they delete the conversation or block the comments. You feel angry, you feel upset, you may have asked for an apology and didn't get one or you wanted to carry on the discussion.

All comments are logged by the Social Media giants, they are not deleted from their servers and can be recalled. People screenshot the conversations from closed groups and share them, do not be fooled by a closed group, many people privately share information from the groups.

Is it worth it?

For a few minutes, you think you have won with your latest comment, then another comment comes back at you, it is like a boxing match, you land punches, then other people land them on you.

But if we look at the bigger picture, does it really matter? What is it achieving? If that person is representing an organisation, they may have their reasons for replying as they did. Do you know the full facts? Was it necessary to comment?

How would you feel if you woke up this morning to the news that the person had committed suicide and in their suicide note was a screenshot of your comments, with the line "I am sorry, I just couldn't take this abuse anymore"

Just pause and think about that for a moment.

We all have a loved one who has passed on, a person that we would love to talk to right now, a person who is gone forever.

We should all consider the other person before commenting, before starting an argument. Do we really need to be so inconsiderate, so nasty? None of us know what the future will bring, many have already suffered health problems and they are not the same person as they once were.

Many are suffering today with pain, illness, mental health issues and family problems. We all have issues to deal with in our lives, yet we still add to other peoples problems.

Last year our founder lost a family member in a car accident, he was young, had his whole life in front of him, leaving behind a very young family. We do not know our future.

We have all read the incredibly sad stories of online abuse, online trolls and the terrible comments people make. It is time to take a step back, think about the situation before you instantly comment. Ask yourself these questions:

Is it worth it?

What I am gaining from it?

In my position should I be answering it this way?

Am I upsetting the other person?

Is it necessary?

What is my end goal with this?

We all hate people, we have come across people who we don't like, don't want to associate with. They may have upset us in the past, they may have done something we didn't agree with. Everyone has an opinion, but do we need to accuse? Do we need to post nasty, derogatory comments. Are we just point scoring to make ourselves feel better?

The Cause is what matters

If we are fighting for a cause, this maybe as a charity trustee or as a campaigner or volunteer, then it is the cause which matters. Before commenting, think of the cause, will it damage the cause, will my actions be beneficial to the cause? Is this my personal opinion? If it is, then put it aside for the cause.

We have all worked with people we didn't necessarily like, that we would not associate with out of working hours, but we still continued to work with them, because of the cause.

If you are letting personal opinion, come before the greater cause, then stop, think about it and communicate with the person. A great invention has been around since 1876, it is called the telephone. With video calling, we can now see the person. Engage in dialogue, discuss the issues, speak to people.

Don't cut people off online, don't ignore them and do not abuse them. Talk to them, listen to them, you may be surprised at what they have to say. Great rivalries have been put aside for the greater good for centuries.

There is always competition, but if you can all work together to increase the awareness and it be beneficial to the both of you, then even if you have a personal opinion, think of the cause.

Halt2Proceed - Take the Time to Think

Next time you are considering making comments which may cause harm, take the time to think. Utilise our 11 step program Halt2Proceed.

You do not want to be the person who is mentioned in a suicide note. Could you live with yourself?

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